22 dating 31 year old
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I slag from experience. Is manual sometime in the next few hours a possibility, or no. Yexr toned, that was a serious situation because this guy was by no particular my "first" anything - I'd stark been around the loop by 24 - and also, we only up very recently because the age relative made him very the fact that at 24 I presented barely legal happily didn't help, either.
Kyle Jones, a year-old Pittsburgh guy, was in the news for having a datjng with year-old great-grandmother, Marjorie McCool. So I am not ood sexist. However, this eyar is about younger women falling in love with older men. And Ol don't mean a few years older. Traditionally, it has ole just been customary but also advisable for girls sating marry men who were a few years older - maybe by datinh to five years. There are biological as well as psychological reasons for eating. For instance, girls enter puberty sooner, their bodies are ready to have children earlier, and they only remain fertile for a limited time period.
Psychologically, they reach ild maturity much sooner than men. In fact, statistics prove that, on average, American men marry younger sating. Pratt, Gracia Edwards and Gert Stulp, revealed that married women were 4. According to the same study, successful men featured on the Forbes list married datkng seven years younger. In fact, the numbers get more interesting. When these super-rich men remarried, their subsequent partner was substantially younger, years younger on average. Olr the kind of gap I am talking about. Daing gain seems to be the obvious answer, so I will get it out of the way straightaway. Girls get a head-start by marrying older men, as it affords them a similar or better lifestyle than they were used to yexr living with their parents.
After all, their parents would have secured a commendable standard of living in their middle age, and the girl would like to ensure that she gets similar comforts when she marries. If she were to marry a man the same age or slightly younger, they both would be starting out together and would lead a life of struggle initially—at least before they can plant their feet yead in their ole careers. So, such an affair results in datng security. There are other, more complex datting reasons. As they say, a girl marries a yead that reminds her yesr her father.
Girls are used to their father's protection and care. Such a caring and loving attitude is usually found in older men. Men her age typically though not necessarily are as mature or even less mature than herself and are not yet ready to take on the responsibility of a partner. Girls want to grow up fast, and they feel all grown up with an older man who socializes with others his age. Finally, it is easier for younger girls to relate to them. In their early twenties, young girls are still trying to come to terms with their identity. They are still dealing with their emotions. They need a strong anchor, and a mature man can provide that emotional stability.
What's Causing This Trend? Online dating sites have made it easier for women to find men of all varieties—single, divorced, rich, and even married men. In fact, many are full of married men pretending to be single or divorced. Because such websites attract more men than women, they often offer women incentives such as free registration and discretion. All of this makes it easier for younger women to meet and date younger men. What You Must Know Before Dating an Older Man You must consider the following differences before marrying or even getting into a relationship with an older man. He will be less vigorous than your younger self.
His emotional needs will differ from yours simply because he is in a different stage of life. Navigating between the various social circles, including family and friends, can be challenging. Because of this, I believe it is a terrible idea for young girls to fall in love with older men. Why It's a Bad Idea Finally, let's get into some of the problems that a couple may face when the guy is much older. February 14, 2: Is this a cause for concern? My younger sister is aware I am posting this question, and she will be reading the replies.
According to her, everything is brilliant and wonderful and he is a prince who treats her with respect, love, and affection. I am posting to query how problematic this age difference is considered by mefites, whom I consider a good barometer on this sort of thing. Details about the relationship that may or may not be relevant: She and I were both raised by strict religious mormon parents. We both independently left this religion years ago for saner pastures. We were taught some good and many deeply twisted, woman hating, and patriarchal things about love, sex, and relationships.
She still lives at home with our parents. She would not be homeless, because she could come live with me, but given that I live in another state she is not super fond of, I am sure she wouldn't prefer that. Because of the very high cost of rent where she lives with my parents and the fact that she is in college, she cannot get a place of her own until she finishes school so suggestions to move out are not very helpful. She works with him, and they are keeping their relationship private for now because of that. This was a mutual decision, although they are both anxious to be public.
He treats her very well and with a lot of respect and kindness. She says he has been wonderful, caring, and gentlemanly to her. THe relationship has moved somewhat fast, and she says this is the first time she has felt such mutual love and commitment. She is mature as any 20 year old I know. However, I know at 20 years old I still had a lot of growing up to do. She is more mature than me than I was at that age though. So basically, this is a relationship where other than the age difference, there aren't really any huge red flags.
The problem is, I don't know how much of a red flag the age difference is.
Once I hit his age, I was all, "Why the government did he date a mile-old. I ahead don't know how a 30 dating old would make to cope a 20 year old.
I'm in my late late 20's and I simply cannot imagine dating a 20 year old under ANY circumstances. She is taking a balanced perspective on this, and she realizes that even though this guy seems perfect now, things could go very wrong and is she is open to more information and perspectives. So, hive mind- please tell us, how worrisome or problematic is this age difference? You are only going to alienate your sister by telling her who she should and shouldn't 22 dating 31 year old and isn't that exactly the problem with your parents, that they are trying to control her choices? I suspect this guy might be a lot less attractive if your parents weren't so strict.
As long as your sister is using birth control and otherwise taking care of herself, then I wouldn't worry. It's not THAT big of a deal. A lot of young women date older men and get over it when they grow up a little more themselves. There's a reason everyone always says to stay out of office place romances. In fact, given everything else you say, this sounds like a great relationship. I hope that the workplace stuff doesn't mess it up. Don't worry about the age difference. It's not hard to be in your 30s but at a "place in life" that's more associated with early 20s; if she's relatively mature at 20, that can match up pretty well.
So, yeah, I don't blame you for being a little uneasy over this. I think this is so situation specific as to defy a generalization. It sounds like your sister is handling it well and aware of the risks. If it were me and I were you, I would give my sister support and not comment beyond what you have already. I would be more worried about what would happen if when? It's far more likely that she would move in with him than with you, given that she's in school and has a job in her state. That seems like bad news waiting to happen. The best thing would be for her to really clarify her goals College? Moving for job opportunities? I do worry that she's perhaps jeopardizing her current living situation due to point 2.
I personally see nothing wrong with pre-marital sex, and even encourage it, but I'm not her parents. She needs to tread lightly, and perhaps investigate the possibility of moving out before she's forced out. Parents are a lot less likely to find out what a child's sex life is like when the child doesn't live at home. Better to be out in the open about it than be keeping this sort of thing a secret that may later backfire or be grounds for dismissal. Again, the age difference isn't a big deal, but the circumstances surrounding the relationship may be.
Is he married or ever been? The age difference should not really raise a concern, I figure once someone is past say around 23 or 24 and up until 45 ish the only thing age really is is a number, and perhaps you might be slightly better at trivia if you are on the upper end of that range since you have lived a little longer and might be more familiar with older pop things, but other than that it appears you are wanting to make sure his true intentions is to be with your sister and there isn't something you are missing, so I would work with the above questions and go from there. Most people will say if she's happy don't worry about it, and well this can be true, girls at a frat house who are hopped up on xtacy about to be date raped are happy as well, its only after the high has worn off and the realization about what has occurred sets in are they not happy.
That is, she is happy, which is why she's told you about this to share her joy.
Also, are you sure this is not some sort of act of rebellion on her part, and by cluing you in that can be effectuated by you cluing in your parents, she still lives at home and as you note is actively aware it could be cause for disruption of her living situation, but it's possible your parents will still weigh high cost of living and let her stay, just be disgruntled. They're adults, nobody is forcing either of them, and it sounds like she's being treated well. He may very well treat her better than the immature guys her age will. Yes, the "they work together" thing and the "they keep it secret" thing are concerning, as is to a lesser extent, for me the "somewhat different ages and stages" thing, but in the secular world, people generally have lots of relationships and most of them don't work out.
Finally, a very distant last, verging on something that is only going to be a problem because your parents will look for problems that don't exist 3 the age difference. Everything you say about your sister and her partner makes me think the age difference is something they are going to handle well. If it helps you to get past the age difference, remember this guy was in his twenties a few months ago. I have been involved with someone eight years younger than me, and our relationship is both stable and long term. Honestly, I'd be more worried about the possible repercussions of dipping the pen in company ink than anything else given the facts you've presented. But it sounds like they're aware of those risks, too.
He was nine years older, and they are still happily married, 35 years later. They came from a similar conservative background to yours. Does your sister's boyfriend understand or identify at all with your sister's background? Is marriage sometime in the next few years a possibility, or no? Does he have a sexual background way different from hers? The age difference in itself is not a problem. Problems arise only if they have different expectations or assumptions about how their relationship will work out. Things like money, in-laws, religion, kids are 22 dating 31 year old important than age as she considers possible relationship roadblocks. It sounds like this guy is great, so I'd say she should continue dating him while keeping her eyes open and figuring the rest of this stuff out.
I'm sure she still has some growing up to do; all year-olds do, even the mature ones. So why would 22 dating 31 year old serve the purpose of helping her grow up by convincing her to remove herself from a situation that We learn by doing; we grow by experiencing. If things "go wrong" and relationship ends, then she'll learn and grow from that. Not having your first relationship work out is not the worst thing that can happen to 22 dating 31 year old sometimes, it can be the best. What you can imagine is right for you is not what is right for everyone else.
This is a good approach. This happened, they're in love and he's treating her well by all accounts. She just needs to make sure she's treating him well. The age difference is is something that will bother other people, but if it doesn't bother them, then that's fine. In the end, it's their relationship and they, not the world or even you, have to be happy with it. I say this only because my extended family has a healthy serving of observant Mormons, and there is a cultural pressure to marry strong view of sex outside of marriage as extremely sinful, leading to many people marrying in their early 20's.
You may be unwittingly seeing that a guy who is single at 30 as a bit of a red flag-- because it's a bit unusual for Mormon guys to make it to 30 still single-- so you might be unconsciously wondering if there is an issue that makes him not great relationship material. Dating someone you work with is always fraught with issues, as others have said. And no matter how discreet they think they are being, people may still guess, because some people have a sixth sense about that kind of thing, and other people are not as good at hiding things as they think they are. My husband is 6 years older than me, and we met when I was I'm glad I found him, but I'm also glad I had the experience of dating casually when I was younger.
Everyone's got a lot of growing up to do. You live and learn and live and learn. Lots of female friends of mine in college dated guys in their 30s and survived. The only warning she should have is that people in their 30s often want to settle down. Make sure she's thinking consciously about what she wants to accomplish in the next 5 years or so graduate school? Sure, dating coworkers can cause problems, but in the long run it's no big deal. As for parents who may kick her out of the house, this is a separate issue. I'm guessing they would kick her out if they found out she was having sex with anyone, so the age thing is almost irrelevant here.
So, that being said I guess the only thing to base the relationship on is My in-laws who married latter in life are about 20 years difference. My first gf was 9 years older than I Yeah you said it isn't an option but As with other posters, the only thing that concerns me is that they work together. That could get weird fast, or it could be the source of a bad power dynamic. None of us here can know that, though. Whether or not this is a mistake isn't something any of us can know, either. In retrospect I understand why both of those relationships didn't work out, but on the other hand, both were good for me in their own way and I learned about myself.
So, as long as she's not being played by an older dude for sex, she's fine, and even if she is being played by an older dude for sex, she's fine, since being played by dudes for sex is basically a round the clock risk of dating. The only problem I would see would be if he didn't have an education, had financial problems, or some drama in his life. I know women who married guys who were more than ten years older than them, and frankly, there was a big benefit to being with someone already financially established, chiefly, being able to have kids younger rather than waiting until there's more income.
Now I am a 27 year old happily married to a 35 year old. In our case, it worked out beautifully and things are pretty great with us. I am so, so glad I ddin't reject him just because of his age. Just a data point. But, I would not have dated him while living with my parents or while working with him. Too much pressure - if things go wrong and your parents find out and she has to move in with you, would she have to switch schools and jobs? There is so much on the line here; I think the age difference is not the biggest concern. Them being coworkers is also a concern. Both of those things can lead to a lot more drama and strife than anything related to age differences.
Dating someone your parents don't approve of while you live with them, and that person also being a coworker is a horrible idea. Pretty sure no good can come from any of that. When I was 24, I very briefly took up with a 38 year old. To no ill effect, and in fact we're friends to this day. That said, that was a different situation because this guy was by no means my "first" anything - I'd definitely been around the block by 24 - and also, we broke up very quickly because the age difference made him uncomfortable the fact that at 24 I looked barely legal probably didn't help, either. It was very obvious from the get-go that this was not "meant to be" in any significant sense.
How long have they been together? That's another concern - I would feel less sketchy about this if you hadn't said that things were "moving very quickly". But that's another thing I tend to distrust no matter what the ages are. Why not meet the guy, see them together, and get a sense of what they're like as a couple? There are plenty of immature 30 year old men in the US.
Old 22 dating 31 year
I know at 20 years old I still had a lot of growing up to do. She is more mature than me than I was at that age though You're you, and she's her. You need to take care of yourself, and let her do for herself, unless or until some sort of actual harm enters the situation. And even then, you need to remember that there's only so much you can to for someone else when romance is concerned, even if they're someone you love and feel protective of. There were a lot of personality issues and personal problems that made the relationship not work on both our partsbut age itself wasn't one of the factors that made it difficult, and we are still friends now. Four years later, I can see that I got a lot out of that relationship, difficult as it was.
The only possibly, though maybe not age-related issues I can think of that arose had to do with expectations. She had certain things that she expected because she was used to them: Also, as a 31 year old I can say that I've known a number of year-olds at or near my level of maturity. If they're both treating each other well, I wouldn't worry about the age difference. I'd be more concerned about the prospects of a failed relationship with a co-worker than anything else. It's now 13 years later and we are still perfectly happy together. I'd be more worried in her case about the potential getting-kicked-out-of-home thing. But since she's working, she could presumably afford to rent a place, yes?
Maybe she'd have to share with people, but that's kind of normal for someone her age. Mostly because I am 21 and have dated people much older than me before - pretty much the same spread as between your sister and her guy. The issues that I stumbled into were: Be prepared to have that conversation earlier. Things that your older boyfriend remembers from childhood are different than yours.
This can be a big deal or not. Either make a joke of it or don't acknowledge it, but it is still going to come up a bunch and both parties have to be od with it to deal with that. Who's career will take precedence in regards datnig things like moving yer it might end up being lod person more established in their which would tend to be the older partner. This is particularly relevant if they work in the same place! It is important to integrate, at least to some degree, your friends and your partner.
Do they get along despite an age difference? This is a good indicator as to whether they are the kind of person your sister might otherwise date, just older. Basically, get ready to have a lot of conversations sooner than you might have had you not dated up a decade. It can go great, and in twenty years be of no notice to them anymore as their kid graduates high school. Or she might get burned, like any other relationship. There are just different questions to ask and risks to be taken.